3 years today

I am so proud of my husband I just can't stop smiling. Today marks his 3 year sobriety "birthday", and I have to say, these 3 years have been amazing. It's really incredible what can change in a marriage (not to mention a family) when you take out drugs and/or alcohol. So I want to dedicate this blog post to him.

The guy who was the life of the party, even when there was no party. The guy who everyone thought would fail in his attempt of recovery after 15 years of "bad" habits. The guy who overcame a million obstacles, only to come out on top of the world and prove everyone wrong. The guy who now serves as a mentor for others struggling with addiction and works to help families put their broken pieces back together. The guy who can give you hope, that yes, sometimes people CAN change. Yes, this is my husband. And yes, I am proud.

If you had told me five years ago that I would one day blog about my husband's sobriety, I would have laughed at you (...the thought of a blog in general would have been far fetched!). All of his friends would have laughed, too. But today I am not laughing, today I am cheering! For him and for everyone out there who struggle and WIN their daily battle with addiction.

One thing I have learned through this process is to take things one day at a time. This is true for life in general, but especially for someone struggling with addiction. Do I know what tomorrow will bring? Of course not, but as I tell my 3 year old, tomorrow is not today. Today is today. And today is a great day.

So congratulations, my love, on this major milestone. Thank you for choosing YOU. To keep this huge accomplishment private just isn't in the cards this year, so sorry hunny! I am shouting this from the rooftops for all to hear!

I realize that this topic is a personal one, and some may not agree with me divulging such information about our family. But you know what? If this message can give hope to just one person then it was worth the risk of sharing too much.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction please do what you can to get help.

 "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

ghosts of Christmas past

Christmas 2010 was by far one of the best Christmas' I have ever had. The instant Elizabeth walked down the stairs she was mesmerized- the dollhouse she had been asking for was displayed along with several other gifts under the tree. We had a great morning opening presents, eating cinnamon rolls, drinking coffee, and just enjoying each other. Then out of our window we saw what would become a beautiful Christmas snowfall. The snow continued throughout the day, which led to an afternoon with neighbors building snowmen. We wrapped up the day with my husband's home made spaghetti, followed by a movie on the couch with Santa's leftover cookies. (Oh, and did I mention Santa brought me an iPad?) Perfect. In every way.

But not every Christmas has been like this, and I know there are a lot of people in the world that dread this holiday simply because of the memories that resurface. And as perfect as my Christmas was this year, I do have memories of past Christmas' that weren't so great. The first Christmas after my parents got divorced. The first Christmas without my high school & college sweetheart. The Christmas when I realized that Santa was really my mother. The Christmas I watched my world fall apart. Yes, these Christmas' in particular really sucked. And yes, every now and then the memories resurface.

In between the crappy ones, though, are magical memories of my childhood, young adulthood, and now, motherhood. Like the year Santa brought me a really cool sled, my first stereo, a mountain bike, and then, when I was 16, a car. The '85 maroon Cadillac Sedan DeVille wasn't exactly the coolest ride in town but hey, a car is a car!

And then there was the Christmas I was newly engaged and planning a wedding, the Christmas we were expecting our first baby, and the Christmas we announced baby #2 was on the way. And I will forever treasure the memories from last Christmas when my Dad and his wife, Jane, came to visit. Watching him sit under the tree with my girls on Christmas morning was absolutely priceless. Talk about flashbacks.

Sure, the ghosts of Christmas past certainly come to visit every now and then, but I don't let them get the best of me. Instead, I embrace the memories with grace and focus on where I am now. It's a lot more fun that way.

 

Christmas, 2010

(big thanks to my photog friend Kristy Dickerson for snapping this shot!)

the santa experience...or not.

It happens every year when you become a parent...and for me it's the same dilemma every year. The dreaded visit to see Santa. When you have a new baby it's pretty simple. Buy dress. Put dress on baby. Take baby to Santa. Baby stares at Santa. Buy bulk photo package & accessories to ensure all relatives, friends, baby books and family archives receive at least one keepsake. At least this is how I thought things would go. Boy, was I wrong.

For Elizabeth's first Christmas we visited Santa at Pike's Nursery. We had just finished some winter landscaping and noticed they had Santa scheduled for the following day. Turns out "Santa" was 19 years old, skinny as a rail, with a red suit and fake beard. I have the Polaroid to prove it. But hey, she was 9 months old and at the time it was just another task to cross off my to-do list. I know, I know, this screams mother of the year.

For her second Christmas I really earn a top nomination for mother of the year. I decided to skip the damn Santa thing altogether. The Pike's Santa had gone off to college (hahaha), and I sure as heck wasn't going to drag my almost two year-old to the mall and stand in line for an hour. Needless to say, she ended up visiting Santa with her babysitter instead, and of course cried bloody murder the second she sat on his lap. Not sure where this picture is, or if I even have one...again, where is my trophy?

Last year we welcomed our second daughter, Kennedy. I made the decision that with two little girls it was about time I step up to the Santa plate. I bought matching dresses, picked Grammy up from the airport, and we headed for the mall. Not the ideal Santa location, but definitely better than the Pike's frat boy. After waiting in line for 30 minutes Elizabeth became hysterical when it was her turn to sit on Santa's lap. But my saving grace here was Kennedy. She gladly let the big fella hold her, she chuckled for the camera, and sure enough, I bought the photo package. After all, I had to redeem myself after the Pike's Polaroid fiasco.

Fast forward to November 2010. The thought pops in my head- perhaps this will be the year where I get creative and take the girls for a real Santa experience. You know, a nice farm somewhere with *rein*deer, maybe even a "sleigh" ride (a.k.a. tractor), ending in a beautiful cabin where you are served hot cocoa, freshly bakes cookies, and a warm fire...and above all the most beautiful Santa you could ever imagine. Ahhhh, the sound of this just makes me smile. And then reality sets in.

I have two small children, a husband, a business to run, and a home to maintain (you know, if I don't go to the grocery store, we don't eat sort of thing...). Not to mention the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas was filled with a million other things and a trip to Disney World.

So guess what? I let it go. Yes, me, of all people, let this stress of creating a super amazing Santa experience GO. Aren't you proud of me?!?! I decided I wasn't going to let my panties get in a bunch over a silly trip to see Santa.

We packed up the girls this afternoon and headed to the mall. Yes, we waited in line for an hour. Yes, Kennedy freaked out a bit, and yes, we bought the not-so-great overpriced pictures. But you know what? For the first time Elizabeth sat on Santa's lap, mesmerized by his real beard, genuinely chubby belly, and beautiful royal suit. To her, this guy was the real deal. And as a mommy, well,  that's good enough for me.

 Elizabeth was absolutely amazed by Santa Claus...especially the fur trim on his suit.

 

Here they are, smiling for the overpriced pictures!

 

Kennedy joined in on the fun after Elizabeth had her special Santa time...

As you can see, the kid wasn't so sure about the big guy. 

it's all about the magic

It's been a while since my last post, and I've gotta admit, I miss blogging! For some reason when I got started with this little project I worried it would become just another thing for me to add to my to-do list. Quite the contrary, in fact, if there were more hours in the day I believe I would blog all the time. Unfortunately my real world to-do list exists, and before I know it the day is over.

So to catch up on things, we just returned from a week in Disney World. My husband and I have been counting down the months leading up to this vacation...and the countdown for Disney Trip #2 has already begun. There is really only one word that could accurately describe our experience at Disney: magic. Yes, magic.

Elizabeth's eyes lit up like magic as we walked through the gates and turned the corner onto Main Street, only to see the majestic Cinderella Castle in all of her glory. Corey and I looked at each other and we both had tears in our eyes. Seriously- it was amazing. To know that our little girl's heart was bursting with excitement was, well, pure magic.

We passed through the castle and proceeded straight to the tent housing the Princesses. When the red velvet rope was lifted Elizabeth was personally escorted into the room. There stood Cinderella, Belle, and Sleeping Beauty. The girl looked like she was going to faint. Again, I choked back tears. I was surprised to see that my normally outgoing daughter had suddenly become shy and nervous. She hid behind me as Cinderella came to greet her, and I just couldn't understand. This was the moment she had been waiting for. Then it hit me. Elizabeth was experiencing the magic.

The belief that this woman in a blue dress was the real Cinderella. And the beautiful yellow ball gown Belle was wearing was the same dress she put on her Christmas list, and a shy whisper..."Mommy, Sleeping Beauty knows my name!" Meeting her 3 favorite characters in the world in the same room at the same time could be compared to putting me in a room with Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Madonna. I would probably flip out, too.

In a nutshell the whole trip was magical. From our incredible stay at the Contemporary Resort, lunch in Cinderella's Castle, Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party, and all of the memories we made just having fun- everything about it was perfect. To top it all off, we were able to create memories with family members as they joined us throughout the week.

With Christmas just around the corner I can't help but remember the magic my parents created for me as a kid. I am going to pretend our house is Disney World for the next 4 days and continue the tradition. Santa Claus is coming..it's time to break out the glitter.

Can you stand it? 

These pictures were actually taken during oursecond trip to see the Princesses. 

Round 1 was not successful!

 

I just love the way Elizabeth is looking up to Belle. She is her favorite Princess of all.

 

And of course Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) was perfect in pink. 

Just look at that face! Her smile says it all : )

blogging for business, or blogging for REAL?

My only 2 hesitations I had before starting my blog were 1) I was going to turn into one of "those" moms who have nothing better to do than blog about her daily trials and tribulations OR 2) I was going to use this blog as a business tool and instead of writing about what I really wanted to say, I would angle my posts knowing my clients and potential clients might be reading.

Of course these are two valid concerns, but what I decided is that if I can find a healthy balance between the two it just might be a winning combination. I also made a personal commitment to only write what I really want to write about- and if someone doesn't like it, well, they don't have to read it! My friend Kristy is a photographer and I just love reading her blog. She has a great balance between sharing things from her personal life and also posting business tips or ideas for the masses to read. I think this is what makes you real as a business owner as well. Many of our clients know me on a personal level, and I honestly think it makes a huge difference (it also helps break the ice if someone is screaming in the background of our conversation).

So don't be surprised if the next time you visit my blog I've written a post about potty training, or perhaps the importance of networking. I am a wife, a mommy, and a business owner...I seriously doubt there will ever be a moment where I find myself with nothing to write about. As for now, well, I'm enjoying the outlet this blog provides me, and I hope you like reading it as much as I like writing it!

it all adds up

If I had a dollar for every time I heard the words "it was only $5" I swear I would be a millionaire. This is for a few reasons. First, because usually it is my husband saying those words. And second, because if he (let me rephrase...WE) stopped spending the $5, $10, $20, whatever, we probably WOULD be millionaires. Well, maybe not millionaires but you know what I mean. 

When I was a kid my parents taught me how to save money. I didn't like it, but looking back I realize it was an important lesson. I sound like my mother when I say this but I honestly think it's true- it seems these days when people want something they just go out and buy it. Believe me, I am so guilty of this (hello, Anthropologie boots!) but I really want to strive to teach my children what it means to save and earn special things.

I can still remember the Saturday morning my dad and I counted all of the pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters I had saved for the Ronald McDonald Watch. We rolled all of the coins, tallied up the total, and on that special morning at McDonald's I finally received the watch I had been dreaming about (my oh my how my dream watch has changed). I wore that watch with so much pride, I volunteered the time to just about anyone, even if they didn't ask. I made sure I took really good care of it and even made a special place for it on my dresser so it wouldn't get lost. Yes, I valued this particular item because I worked hard to earn it. 

Last week we cleaned out the playroom with Elizabeth. As we sorted through her toys I noticed a common theme- she really didn't care much about any of them. In a way this made the process much easier, but at the same time I wondered why she was so laissez fare about the whole deal. Then it hit me. 90% of the toys we were bagging for Good Will were random "only $5" toys we'd picked up over the course of her 3 years of life. Well good grief, all of those toys certainly add up to a pretty penny. My husband and I nodded in agreement (I think he could read my mind) and decided that this was the beginning of the end. The end of buying random toys for no apparent reason. When I was a kid I only got new presents for my birthday and for Christmas. I am implementing this rule in the Sanford house. Go ahead, call me the Big Bad Mommy. But the last thing we need are two spoiled brats running around with every toy on the planet and no appreciation for any of them (wow, I really AM turning in to my mother).

When we decided to book a trip to Disney World for Christmas, I told Corey we were going to teach Elizabeth how to save money. We decorated an old juice bottle with some of her favorite Disney pictures and started collecting random change. Over the course of 6 months our jar was practically overflowing. The other day Elizabeth and I dumped it out and got to work. Check it out.

This is our "Disney Jar"- Elizabeth fell in love with the picture on the top of Cinderella and the little girl. She said that was going to be her when we saved all of our money! So cute!

GRAND TOTAL:  $269.02!

(yeah, yeah...I know $269 isn't going to get us very far at Disney World but at least it's something!)

All in all I think it was a good lesson. Most importantly what I've realized is that we set the tone for saving and appreciating things when you work hard. As parents it's our job to set a good example for our kids, and sometimes knowing that they're watching us is enough to whip us into shape.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

CHRISTMAS!

Yes, it's finally here...the season that most people I know either LOVE or HATE...the holiday season is in full swing. And today I finally caught the Christmas spirit. I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden it hit me like a truck. Perhaps it was the shopping spree I enjoyed this morning, picking out gifts for my girls and imagining their surprise on Christmas morning. Or maybe it was a combination of my latte, shopping endorphins, an outfit complete with amazing boots (yes, they are PERFECT!) and 98.5's all day holiday music marathon. Whatever it is, I know it's here.

I was beginning to worry- usually I get bit by the bug on Thanksgiving, but for some reason this year I just wasn't feelin' it. Putting up our decorations felt like a chore to me, and I even contemplated leaving everything in the basement except for the tree (after all, my kids are too young to notice that mommy left the giant wreath off the door). But I did it anyway, and tried to smile and push myself into the spirit we all know as holiday cheer.

As a kid I remember the month of December as the most magical month of the year. As a single adult I looked forward to the day when I would have a family of my own to celebrate and create new traditions with. As a newlywed Corey and I spent Christmas reflecting on our childhood memories and what we would recreate for our future children. Then Elizabeth was born and for the first 2 years she had no clue what was going on (although she loved to pick ornaments off the tree). Now she is almost 4 and I know this year will be her very first magical Christmas morning. She will remember waking up and coming downstairs to see what Santa has brought for her. These are the years I have been waiting for. It's go time.

The magic of that moment is so special for her, but also for me. I am going to soak up every second of this month. Because I know in a blink of an eye she will be the young adult I remember being not too long ago.

We will write out our list for Santa, bake him some cookies, and leave carrots for the reindeer. We will sing along with Raffi and belt out Christmas music for the next 23 days. We will sprinkle everything with red and green glitter. We will read the Polar Express and ring the bell for all to hear. We will share our blessings with others, and remember that Christmas is about giving, not receiving.

With that, I'm off to the basement. It's time to hang up the wreath.