so much to be thankful for

On this Thanksgiving Eve I can't help but feel humbled. Throughout my life I have been abundantly blessed, and somehow things just continue to get better. I can honestly say that today, in this stage of my life, as challenging as it may be at times, is the happiest I have ever been. Is my life a bunch of roses? Hardly. But this post is solely about being thankful, so there is no wiggle room for complaints.

With so much to be thankful for it only made sense to write a list. I figure the next time I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown I can revisit this post and replace my tears with a smile.

I am thankful for:
-My faith. Not just today, but especially today, I thank God for giving His one and only son Jesus, to die for me so that my sins could be forgiven.

-A strong and healthy body, one that provides me with the energy and strength I need to live each day to the fullest (although I could probably step up my workouts a bit...)
-An incredible family. By family I mean everyone. A mother who has and always will be my biggest cheerleader. A father whose wisdom and gentle spirit help guide me in the right direction. A sister I can truly call a friend. An Aunt who has been a combination of mother-sister-friend-colleague (and who shares my obsession with fine paper!) With them also come "step" relatives that I love and cherish dearly.
-An adoring husband who truly loves me unconditionally. He always has a smile on his face, even when I'm grumpy. I am so lucky to be able to call my husband my best friend (and yes, I truly mean it).
-Two healthy beautiful little girls, who are a direct reflection of the both of us. They are the sweetest and most precious gifts from God. These girls have inspired me to be a better person.
-Friends. My friends rock. I have awesome friends from every stage of my life. My mother taught me at a young age that "boys will come and go, but friends are friends for life." I have held that mantra close, and my friends even closer. You know who you are...I love you guys!
-A business I can call my own. When I started my business (Office Buzz, Inc.) almost 5 years ago I never thought it would become what it is today. I feel so lucky to be able to bless other women with the services we offer, and in turn, be blessed by their achievements and success. How awesome is that?!?!
-A home that is furnished with everything I could ever possibly need and more. A home filled with love, a place where I feel safe.

This list could go on for days. But the blessings I've written here are the ones I hold closest to my heart.  I hope you find some time this Thanksgiving to reflect on your blessings and give thanks.

little paper things

I have a confession to make. I am completely obsessed with paper. It's genetic, in fact, my Aunt Debbie was the first person to ever give me fancy paper. And then there was the day my first Bat Mitzvah invitation arrived in the mail. I will never forget the giant black square that opened up into a trifold of silver with glitter embellished accents. It was like a little slice of paper heaven. From there it was downhill.

You name it, I love it. Like ice cream, I don't discriminate. Invitations, holiday cards, business cards, postcards, gift tags, letterhead, note cards, and shoot, even return address labels. Not only do I love the paper itself, but I love a product that has been beautifully printed. Recently I have become quite fond of the super elegant letterpress (which I've yet to indulge myself in). When I see a gorgeous piece of stationery my heart flutters a bit. I quickly look on the back to see if there's a label and make a mental note of where I could possibly find something like it.

Yes, I am the girl who gave stationery as a gift to my bridesmaids. Yes, I am the girl who will throw a party for the sole purpose of designing a new invitation. Yes, I am the girl who named her first born child Elizabeth instead of Reese, mostly because of how it would look on printed stationery (if you don't believe me try it for yourself- go ahead...open a Word document and type in both names. Use the Edwardian Script font and quickly you will see that Elizabeth most certainly looks better). Think what you want, but I'm also the girl who will appreciate the beauty of that Crane's wedding invitation you begged your mother to splurge on. After all, the invitation sets the tone for your event. Chances are, if the invite is amazing then the party will be, too.

Recently I was browsing through one of my favorite websites, www.finestationery.com, and I came across these beauties. Just look at them.

The perfect shade of pale pink, a beautifully lined envelope, and rounded corners. What more could a girl possibly ask for?  I'm pretty sure if someone wrote me a thank you note with this card I would only feel obliged to write one in return. Just check out the price for 25 and you'll understand why.

Yes, I am obsessed with little paper things, but I have another confession to make. I rarely ever purchase these things for myself. See, the problem is that I design and print paper for a living. Knowing what I know about the subject makes it difficult to pay someone else for a project I could most likely recreate. For example, every year I have an internal battle over our family Christmas card.  
My initial thought is this: I am just going to suck it up and buy the damn cards from tinyprints.com.  I deserve it.  

What REALLY happens is this: I get to the checkout, realize the cards I've chosen are astronomically overpriced, and end up re-designing my own card with my own program. Printing is outsourced, and within 7 business days I receive the final product. Finally, I tell myself, "Okay, now you've got another year under your belt...surely next year we will order online."

And the vicious cycle continues.

So I am at a crossroads...each year for Christmas I treat myself to something special. Something that, under normal circumstances, would be considered a lofty indulgence. This year it just might be a guilt-free visit to finestationery.com 

A three year old's "dream"?

Call me crazy, call me dramatic, call me whatever you want...but this is my story and I'm sticking to it.

I officially vetoed the Barbie Dream House. That's right. My husband came home with the giant cardboard box displaying the luxury town home, complete with working elevator and mini spa. Three glorious stories of pink, purple, and everything in between. My initial response was, "Wow." After all, I never played with Barbies when I was a kid. I much preferred playing in the dirt and riding my bike rather than some silly stick of plastic with blond polyester hair. Maybe I didn't get it. Was I missing something? In each room of the house they showed a Barbie sitting somewhere, either on the phone, or in the bathtub...looking gorgeous in her sparkly Barbie-esque outfits.

Then it hit me. This so called "Dream House" looks like the Playboy Mansion. Over my dead body is my 3 year old going to play with this thing. Was this really the image I wanted to teach my little girl? One of lounging around on a purple leopard couch, waiting for dumb ass Ken to call? I don't think so.

Our kids grow up so fast as it is. Why should I rush the Barbie revolution when she still loves to play house with her baby dolls? This "Dream House" was certainly no place for a family, let alone a baby. With that, I requested a swift return to the toy store.

Now, I'm sure there will come a time when Elizabeth begs for this Barbie Dream House. But that time isn't now, and I'm sure as heck am not going to rush there.

change of plans

Just me, a venti caramel macchiato, an itunes playlist to die for, and the open road. It was the perfect plan for my road trip to South Carolina.

It's been almost 2 years since I've seen my best friend from college, Jana. Although we only live 4 hours apart, it seems the business of our lives always gets in the way. A few months ago we picked a date, and I made it clear that this time I would be the one making the trip. I haven't had 4 hours in the car by myself since, well, college. Just the thought of watching the sun rise through the fall foliage, my favorite music playing in the background, and no children (or husband, for that matter) made me happy. Not to mention the fact that one of my favorite friends in the world was waiting for me at the end of the road.

My alarm went off at 5:45am. I hopped out of bed, got dressed, loaded the car, and grabbed my phone. I looked down to see "1 New Text Message."  It was from Jana. "Good morning. Call me before you leave." Of course by now I was completely awake, dressed in my cute outfit (and killer new boots), and was anticipating my giant cup of Starbucks. The minute I saw the text I knew we would be rescheduling. Once again, something had gotten in our way.

Jana's dog had been in an accident last night, and as a result her hip was dislocated. She and her husband had spent all night in the Vet ER, and she was unsure what the outcome would be. The surgery was unsuccessful last night, and they were going to try round 2 today. My heart broke for her as her voice trembled over the phone. She and I made the mutual decision that a rain date would be best. After all, the conditions weren't exactly prime for a fun and lighthearted visit.

So now, as I watch the sun rise through the trees of my backyard I can't help but think...maybe I should get out of here before everyone wakes up. No one would have to know...I could hit the open road anyway and see where it leads me for the day. And then I hear it. The sweet voice of my three year old. "Mommy?"  She is waiting for me at the bottom of the staircase. Her warm hug makes my heart smile and I immediately know. I'm not going anywhere. Except, maybe, to Starbucks.

a picture is worth a thousand words

It only took one meeting with Matt Adcock to realize he was the wedding photographer of my dreams. Within 24 hours I miraculously convinced my mother that he was worth every penny, and his deposit was sent the next day (I'm pretty sure the suggestion of substituting the roast beef station for chicken nuggets pushed her over the edge). Call me a sucker, call me a photographer's dream...whatever. The point is, if I was going to hire someone to capture the special moments of my wedding day, they had better get it right. The same thing goes for my family. 

After 2 years of marriage my husband and I welcomed Elizabeth Diane. With babies come family portrait sessions, and the first person I called was Matt. His schedule was crazy with wedding obligations, but he had a solution...Melissa Prosser. He assured me Melissa was incredibly talented, and explained they had been working together for quite some time. As far as I was concerned, if she was good enough for him, she was good enough for me.

After photographing our family for almost 4 years I would have to agree. What I love most about Melissa is her ability to capture the personal moments and little exchanges that happen during our time together. 

If a picture isn't worth a thousand words, well, then I don't know what is. 

Check out a few of my favorites from our family session last week. Thanks Melissa for helping me preserve these precious moments- we are lucky to have you as an "adopted" member of our family : )

 

my sweet and sassy ballerina in cowgirl boots (she picked this out herself!)

 

my little angel Kennedy still isn't walking...but I am happy to hold her up for as long as she needs me : )

The expression on my face is exactly what I'm talking about! 

I was so excited to see her stand up by herself!

Corey and I have hardly any pictures together...I love this one!

what do you mean, disconnect?

During my recent trip to Florida I tried my best to "disconnect." The attempt was an honest and legitimate one, but it turned out to be just that...an attempt. Although it sounds good in theory, disconnecting in my world right now causes more stress than the act of checking my email or responding to a text message. Sure, lounging on a beach chair browsing through a magazine is relaxing and all, but then reality hits. 15 missed calls, 27 text messages and 4 voice mails later, my blood pressure hits the roof. I can't help but think that this sudden rise in blood pressure has canceled out the so called hour of relaxation by the pool. This leads me to my conclusion...the whole "disconnect" theory is really a scam to make me crazy.

Perhaps it's because I own my own business that I can't seem to allow a day to go by without checking in on things. But who's to say that's a bad thing? To me it's just good business. This is what makes my company better than the others out there. I'm convinced of it.

My mother seems to think it's "an epidemic among you kids"...where we just can't turn off our phones and live like normal people. Yes, mom, I realize that when you were young cell phones and computers didn't exist. I get it. But it's 2010, so let's embrace our gadgets and make the most of them.

Like anything in life it's important to find a healthy balance. But if balance were easy then everyone would have it, right? As for me, well I'm going to start with baby steps. I am committed to turning my iPhone OFF at 9 p.m. every night. This doesn't mean "silent", this means OFF. Because "silent" just makes it that much easier to check in during my trip to the freezer for ice cream.

Wish me luck.

great friends are hard to find

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know when you've found a great friend. She could be the one you call every day after work, or perhaps you only talk once or twice a year. Either way it doesn't matter. She's a great friend and you know when you need her she will be there, and vice versa. If there's one thing I've learned from my mother it's that good friends are hard to find, and when you find one, you'd better hang on to her.

My girlfriend Bonny is celebrating a birthday today, and I just have to say that the title of "great friend" is an understatement. Bonny is the girl you meet at a party who instantly makes you feel comfortable and welcome, even if you don't know anyone. Bonny is the friend who will bring you dinner and tuck you into bed when you're sick and have no one else around to help. Bonny is the friend who will not only come to your party, but will ask what she can bring or do to help. Bonny is the friend who will say yes, even when she should say no. Bonny is the friend you can call when your world falls apart and you just need someone to tell you it's going to be okay. And somehow, when she says it, you believe her. Above all else, Bonny is the friend who wants to know how YOU are, even though she is suffering heartache and loss. Yes, it's true. A friend like Bonny is hard to find.

So today I would like to wish my incredibly great friend Bonny a happy and joyous birthday. If only everyone were as lucky to have a friend like you, well, the world would be a better place. I love you and I am so thankful to call you my friend.

baby, airplane and grammy, oh my!

This post was inevitable. I tried to find a way around it but it's just not going to happen. I would like to dedicate this post to my sweet baby girl Kennedy.

It was a Saturday morning about a month ago, and I was having a moment of weakness when my mom called. After hearing her chat with my 3 year old via speakerphone I decided a trip to Grammy's house was overdue. Within an hour our flights to sunny south Florida were booked. It wasn't until I clicked "purchase tickets" on the Air Tran website that it hit me. I would be traveling with a 3 year old and a 15 month old. Alone. My immediate reaction was panic but I assured myself we would be fine and went along with my day.

The month flew by and before I knew it I was printing our boarding passes. Next thing I know our date of travel had arrived. I did everything I could to prepare for our adventure. Double stroller? Check. Diaper bag? Check. DVD player with movie assortment? Check. Sippie cups? Check. Children's Dramamine? Check. Snacks? You name it, I had it. Pretzels, Cheez-Its, Pringles, tootsie pops, Twizzlers, Skittles, bubble gum...my carry on bag looked like a freaking convenience store. There is nothing on this earth that could have prepared me for what would turn out to be the trip from hell.

I woke up that morning with my "game face" ON. Having worked for myself for so long I am a firm believer in positive affirmations. I told myself, "Holiday, this is going to be great. We are going to have a wonderful, easy and relaxing trip." Yeah, not so much.

In a nutshell the trip was one of the most stressful days of my life. From the second we loaded the girls in the car, Kennedy started with her whining and screeching. My sweet husband dropped us off at curbside check-in and when he kissed me good bye I could have sworn he whispered "good luck, hunny" in my ear. I strapped the girls into the stroller, and we were on our way. Amazingly enough, security was a breeze, but by the time we got to our gate Kennedy was in full blown scream mode. She screamed for an entire hour, and nothing would calm her down. I even called Corey from the gate and told him if she didn't stop he was going to have to come back and get us. Of course by the time boarding started she calmed down. Or so I thought.

I took the necessary precautions for traveling with a baby- she had a full dose of Children's Dramamine as approved by her pediatrician, and I figured it was just a matter of time before she gave up. After an hour she showed no signs of drowsiness so I gave her more. Still, nothing. She kicked and screamed like a bucking bronco throughout the entire flight. She even got dirty looks from my 3 year old daughter Elizabeth. "Kennedy! Stop screaming! We're on the airplane and we're going to GRAMMY'S!"  Nope. Nada. This kid didn't care.

The rest is just a blur. All I know is that eventually we landed and got off the plane. And standing at the end of the terminal was my mom (a.k.a. Grammy). The smile on her face when she saw us come around the corner made every scream, kick and dirty look worthwhile. To know that by enduring a few hours of hell meant giving my kids a week's worth of memories with her, well, that's just priceless. Hopefully one day my girls will do the same for me, and I'm pretty sure the karma train will come back around sooner or later. Just sayin'.

cookies in the clubhouse

Last year for Christmas my husband and I installed a giant playground in our backyard. With so many options it was overwhelming, but there was one thing I knew it had to have- enough space for a clubhouse. Growing up, my sister and I always pretended we had a clubhouse. Even my dad *attempted* (key word here) to build us a tree-house. Now that I'm a mom, I can predict the desire my daughters will have for a clubhouse one day, so I made the decision to choose a playground with a big enough space to fulfill their imaginations.

Instead of checking my email or turning on a movie this afternoon, I told Elizabeth we were going to play outside. I imagined for a minute what I would want to do if I were a kid with this playground in my backyard, and my immediate thought was to build a fort warm enough to hang out in. Before my husband could blink I was upstairs raiding the linen closet. I dragged out our old down comforter, winter blankets, and pillows. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I had an agenda. Lastly, I grabbed the Ziploc bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies and we headed outside.

Elizabeth helped as I set up our blankets and pillows, creating a bedroom-like atmosphere in the wooden structure. We cuddled together like two bugs in a rug (it was FREEZING!). She looked at me with the biggest smile, and planted a kiss on my cheek. We broke out the cookies and giggled together for nearly an hour...bundled under the blankets, soaking up the fall sunshine. I made a promise to myself to never forget this moment. Hopefully she won't either.

My first blog post.

It was inevitable, I guess...me starting a blog. I've always been the kind of person who likes to write about my life experiences, dreams, challenges, etc. but since the world of typing has evolved, my handwriting has gotten worse. In fact at this point I can type much faster than I can write. I used to buy journals- you know, the beautiful leather bound books that lure you in at Barnes and Noble. "This time I am really going to write in it" I would tell myself. Yeah, right. I would try and discipline myself to write in my new journal every night, then every other night, then once a week, and after about a month or two the once full-of-promise journal would land on my shelf among the others. So I figure at this point a blog just might be my best bet. At least there aren't any empty pages. It is what it is. So if I only blog once a month no one will really care. And hey, this whole blog thing is free.

As for my name GAP Girl? I googled how to name a blog, and from what I could see there are a ton of options. Most of what I saw reflected the writer's personality and interests. For me, I am the GAP. It's the one store where I know I will find something I like. It will *always* (hopefully) fit, and it will be exactly what I expected it to be. My friends and family know that the easiest gift for me is anything from the GAP. I wanted my blog to parallel my inner GAP girl. The favorite jeans, relaxed style, yet sometimes unpredictable (have you seen this season's "jeggings"??? I don't think so.)

So here it goes. I hope you'll come back again soon.