dear carbs...

Dear Carbs,

I think it's time to break up. Yes, I know we've been together for thirtysomething years...and yes, I know there is nothing like a giant bowl of pasta at the end of a long day. But really? Somethin's gotta give.  I've pushed out (well, not exactly pushed...but whatever) two kids in the last 4 years, and this muffin top is really starting to piss me off. No matter what I do I just can't shake it. I'm even thinking about naming it Molly. Molly the Muffin Top. Hmmmm....

What? What's that you say? Am I running five miles a day? Well, no, of course not. Who on earth has time to run five miles a day? And honestly, running sucks.Yes, I realize if I could run five miles a day I could eat all the carbs in the world and ditch Molly at the same time...but ya know what? That's just not gonna happen.

Excuse me? You don't think I can live without you? Really? Well, my friend, I beg to differ. I have been getting along just fine with your frenemy, Protein. In fact, Protein and I have spent the last 48 hours together and although the thought of you has popped into my mind, the truth of the matter is this: 
I'm just not that into you.

Oh, so now you're calling me a LIAR? After a lifetime of loyalty? That's it. We're done.

You don't understand? Let me clarify...

Adios. Au revoir. Sayonara. Ciao. Hasta la vista, baby.

And that goes for you too, Molly.